102 Pages of Choices
©2025, George J. Irwin. All rights reserved.

Imagine for a moment that you had a chance to have a brief encounter with one of your favorite celebrities, that you could ask a question and get a personalized answer.

Imagine no more!

It is possible, thanks to the wonders of technology. There is a website that offers literally thousands of different celebrities, and for a small fee-- well, sometimes not exactly "small"-- you can get a short video recording of one of these well-known people wishing you a happy birthday, or responding to a question about something they’ve done that Made Them Famous, or whatever you would like (subject to terms and conditions, of course).

Yes! I will admit that I have utilized this site several times, although mostly not for myself. I purchased a birthday greeting for my daughter from the actress who was the lead in the first Broadway show that I took her to. I had a Happy Anniversary sent to my best friend and his wife from a play by play sportscaster we both listen to. And I had not one but two Happy Birthdays arranged for my wife. And while I was setting that up, I added an encounter for myself, from a different sportscaster who happened to be at an event that I wished I could have attended, who was so surprised that I had asked about that particular experience that he talked for over five minutes, when the more typical recording is about ninety seconds. I certainly got my money’s worth for that one. Actually, they were all worth it. Everyone who received one of these gifts from me was genuinely surprised and appreciative. Pause for self-pat on back.

It’s not surprising to know that every so often, I get an e-mail from this website letting me know that there are some New Popular Favorites who have just joined up, or there is a Major Sale going on in which I might be interested, but only for a Limited Time.

And so, I click on the link, and I’m taken to the site to view the vast selection of celebrities that are available to provide a personal message to me or someone I designate.

Actually, "vast" isn’t the right word.

Perhaps "overwhelming."

A recent visit to this location in cyberspace resulted in the display of just short of forty-nine hundred personalities under the category of "musician."

Put another way, that’s one hundred and two pages worth of selections.

No, there are not enough people listed per page, but I suppose that the quantity of options shown per screen has been optimized… for the website operator, not you.

I should pause to point out that you’re not going to find any truly household names here, of either the past or the present. If you’re looking for television actors, let’s say, you’re much more likely to find members of the supporting cast than the top-billed, though there are exceptions.

I found the people I chose for the gifted greetings not through the search capability, which I have found to be "meh" at best, but the old fashioned way, by scrolling through page after page.

As it had been a while since my previous visit, I elected to start scrolling through the "Musicians" category, not because I had anyone in mind, and not because I had anyone on my immediate gift list, but just to see who was there.

About twenty pages in, I wondered whether I should stop.

I’ll take another pause here to note, with my Ruthless MBA hat on, that I was about to demonstrate the Fallacy of Sunk Cost. That is, spending more time, money or other resources on a situation or activity because you’ve already spent so much time, money or other resources up to that point.

The concept of Sunk Cost occurred to me several times over the remainder of this exercise, but every so often I would come across someone with whom I might like to engage at some point, so I kept going.

Then it became more of a game of observation. For example…

Hmm, that’s someone I might like to ask a question of.

Hmm, that’s someone I know, but I can’t think of a question.

Hmm, that’s someone I’d rather not meet in a dark alley, or even a well-lit one for that matter.

That’s an interesting outfit.

I didn’t know you could get a tattoo on that part of your anatomy.

I wasn’t aware that "Tarot Reader / Rapper" was a career choice.

That’s an idea: a "tribute artist" paying tribute to someone whom I also don’t know.

There does seem to be a non-trivial proportion of scantily clad women on this part of the site.

I see you’re also describing yourself as an actor on a show I followed, but I think you were in one episode, so that seems like a bit of exaggeration.

If I tried to wear that, Colleen would declare a divorceable offense.

I didn’t know this person was still around.

Your stage name is what?

I don’t think a dog can be a famous musician.

I’m sorry, but I’m not familiar with that particular reality television show, although given its title, I’m not sure that they would feature musicians anyway.

I guess I didn’t watch that season of the show you are famous for being on.

I don’t remember any country singers who wore that.

I am not aware of the specific criteria by which you become a "star" on a website to which you can upload your own videos.

That’s another place I didn’t know you could put a tattoo.

Wait, I’m 99 percent sure that I’ve already seen this person back on Page 62.

That’s a unique way to wear a Santa Claus hat.

I think I’m missing an opportunity here. After all, I wrote and recorded some "goof songs" with a couple of friends back in the Previous Century, doesn’t that make me a musician?

I see what you did there: you took the name of a very successful singer and changed one letter. Could have fooled me… but you didn’t.

How many more pages do I have left to scroll through?

OK, I have heard of this band, and I don’t think you were ever in it. Maybe after their umpty-umph album when all of the original members had left.

I’m not sure that being a television host qualifies you to be in the "Musician" category.

I wish I’d thought about sorting this list alphabetically before I got to Page 78.

Wait, you used a stock photo of yourself?

But the common thread was this:

I had never heard of a large majority of the people I was viewing.

That may not have been completely fair, since the site is international in scope and that meant celebrities from other countries, you America-centric lout, I told myself. And since I have not been to many other Broadway shows beyond the one to which I took my daughter, it’s not a stretch to say that I wouldn’t be familiar with most performers there.

But still.

Influencers? I think that’s way out of my demographic. And how is "musician" and "influencer" related anyway?

With my cost already sufficiently sunk, I put my Ruthless MBA hat back on and determined that of the total 31,379 (!) choices on this site at the time I looked, 13,425 charge up to $25; another 12,812 charge between $25 and $50; then 5,800 ask between $50 and $75; 3,560 have a price tag between $75 and $100, and 4,367 garner over $100, of which about 100 ask $1000 or more, with the single highest price being an eye-popping $2500, and no, I will not name names of the high rollers, except to say that I would not spend that kind of money for a short video clip. Although based on the quantity of reviews, all of which were at the highest possible rating, at least nine people did, or maybe one person did nine times, I don’t know. I would think that if a person is famous enough and has limited time to make personalized videos, one way to restrict the demand for them is to charge a lot.

Perhaps almost as absurd is the selection of individuals who charge just one single dollar for a video. It’s tempting to request one with simply the question "Who are you anyway?" But that’s cruel. And it probably wouldn’t get through the Terms of Service either.

It does seem to me, anecdotally because I did not gather data the previous times I visited this site, that prices for videos are coming down. One person from whom I’d be interested in a video for myself but for whom I can’t come up with a non-lame question has dropped the going rate down from $200 to $150, a twenty-five percent reduction. It’s tempting…

Ah, though, there’s that non-lame question. I wonder how many times the same query has been fielded by a well-known musician, or veteran actor, or notable athlete. By that I don’t mean, "Would you wish my wife a happy birthday," because that’s part of why the site exists—though I would imagine that after the thousandth time it gets more difficult to be enthusiastic about this. (I am reminded of a quote sometimes attributed to movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn: "Sincerity is everything. Once you fake that, you’ve got it made.") I want to come up with a question that hasn’t been asked a thousand times before, either via the website I’m describing here, in-person conventions, interviews, and/or chance meetings. In 1986, William Shatner (for which I also do not have any non-lame questions) did a great sendup of this on Saturday Night Live, by the way, popularly known as the "Get A Life" skit.

Meanwhile, for some inexplicable reason, I flipped to the "TV" category, which had slim pickings of only around 2800 entries.

And then my brain flipped to the other side of the coin, and another question that I don’t think I’ll ever ask:

What if you put yourself out there and not get any takers at all?

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